EGO'S DYING AND I WANT TO ESCAPE
I’ll be honest, the last thing I feel like doing today is blogging – or writing. I am having one of those days where reality is hitting the fan and I desperately want to escape.
While putting make up on I said to myself, “just be in this moment, be present” and before I knew it I was off in some fantasy attempting to escape my reality.
Not that my reality is that bad, mind you. In fact, it’s pretty good. It’s just that my ego would like something better (according to it), thank you very much.
So I tried it again. “Just BE in this moment, be present.” And yep, before my mascara barely finished extending my eyelashes I was off in Never Neverland….
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm…. What to do? What to do? I mean, I thought I had this mastered? Don’t I? Didn’t I?
Nope.
See the thing about being present and the being-in-the-moment thing is that you need to keep doing it. Now there is good news and bad news there. The good news is that you always have another shot – go into LA LA land and just bring yourself back and try again.
The bad news is… it’s never done with.
Never.
Once you are in the moment, the next moment when you recognize it – you’re out of it because you are thinking about it. (According to my dearly beloved Eckhart Tolle in A NEW EARTH (see my Amazon recommendations on this page) apparently that does not count.)
I am a MASTER at thinking in the moment, but BEING in the moment… not so much.
And then it happened. I stopped and was. I looked into the mirror and started to cry. I came out of this BEING with the thought “ego is dying a little bit today” and although more than anything I wanted to escape into that “safe” haven of fantasy world. I knew I could not.
Just be. Just be. In being all is well.